Monday, June 26, 2006

God's Garden


Planting flowers is one of my favorite things to do, when God blesses me with the energy to do so. This past spring I spent much time preparing this flower bed and planting lots and lots of gladioli and caladium bulbs. I went so far as to alternate two different colors of gladioli and then surround them with the caladiums as a border. It was so exciting for the kids and I to watch as they sprouted and began growing.

Something strange began to happen, though. Another kind of plant started growing, too. Not knowing what they were, I began to pull some of them up, assuming they were weeds. Sergei finally convinced me that they were sunflowers, though, and that I should let them continue to grow. How did the seeds get there? We have a bird feeding station near this flower bed so the seeds were either dropped by birds or carried there by squirrels. Either way, I began to think of them as God's Garden. They have thrived and are now showing their beautiful bright yellow flowers - even the "mutant sunflower" that has about 15 buds on one stalk is doing well.

The flower bed looks nothing like I had planned on it looking, but that is OK. My life looks very little like I would have planned on it looking right now, either. I would have never thought of having a dozen kids if left to plan my own life ("I am way too selfish for that and not at all able to handle that many kids.") I certainly would not have planned to have a neurological disorder that the doctors have no cure for. Yet, these are seeds that God planted in my life, just like He planted those beautiful sunflowers. I am so glad Sergei convinced me to allow the sunflowers to grow. I am even more glad that God's plan for my life is perfect and filled with lots of "sunflower surprises" along the way.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Pride vs. Humility

Having an illness that outwardly affects my body as much as dystonia does is proving to be a huge lesson in humility. Slowly I have begun to realize how sinfully full of pride I have been (and still are). I often try to hide the spasms when I am around others, which of course tends to make them worse in the end. I bought a cane the other day, although I have been very hesitant to use it. Why the hesitancy? My pride gets in the way. I don't want people to look at me and wonder what the "problem" is. I want to look normal (OK, OK, stop laughing. No one with a dozen kids at home looks normal, do they?) Mostly though, I don't want my kids to worry about me.

Last night during our family time I confessed my sin of pride to the family and shared my plan for putting off that sin and replacing it with humility. I have renamed the cane - it is now a "humility stick". Everytime I use it I hope to put off my pride and put on humility. I will most likely have to do that on a daily (hourly?) basis, but I know that God will be my Rock during this time.

A good friend wrote me an encouraging email and mentioned that my "reach exceeds my grasp". I have spent a lot of time mulling that phrase over and I now see what she meant. Indeed, she was very accurate. I am continually taking on more than I can physically handle. Learning to live with Dystonia is going to mean admitting that I cannot do all of the things I want to. I need to shorten my reach and concentrate more on what I can hold in my grasp. The strength of that grasp may even change from day to day, hour to hour.

Perhaps God has given me an illness that draws the attention of others so that I can shine His light more brightly. When I am weak He is strong. I need to keep reminding myself that people are not seeing my weaknesses. Rather they are seeing the strength God has generously blessed me with to embrace His plan for my life. I fail each and every day, but God's mercies are new every morning!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

In Need of Some Prayers

Dear Friends and Family,
I would like to share a brief prayer request with you regarding the neurological illness I have (dystonia). Twice this week I have had what are called "Dystonic Storms". Basically they are extreme body spasms from my toes up to my head. We were able to ride the first one out at home, but today I ended up in the ER with the second one.

Please pray that I will not become discouraged by these episodes and that I will continue to look for ways to share God's love through them. Also, please pray that the doctor in Birminghan will be able to give me some ways of dealing with these at home rather than having to go to the ER.

I also need to learn how to avoid these, if all possible, so pray for me to have the wisdom to discover how to best do that.

Thanks
Ramona

Wednesday, June 14, 2006











These are a couple of photos that Sergei took on our deck. We love watching the birds, squirrels and chipmunks that delight in his blooming utopia outside our sunroom windows. Sergei truly has a gift for capturing God's creatures in photos.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Today's Gift

Show me your ways, O LORD;
Teach me Your paths,
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.
Psalm 25:4-5

Today God gave me a gift. After having struggled with neurological problems continually for over a year now, I finally have a name for the illness. A Movement Disorder Specialist at UAB told me this morning, after careful consideration and a consultation with his partner, that I have Generalized Dystonia. I am so thankful that God allowed this doctor to have the wisdom and knowledge to make a diagnosis. Not knowing what the illness is has been a huge challenge for me over the last year, since one of my greatest temptations is a desire to be in control of my own life. I confess that I have ranted and raved in many sinful ways, demanding that God share this information with me. However, in His infinite wisdom He chose to make me wait and learn many lessons along the way.

Having this gift (the name of the disease) does not change my physical condition one bit. It will be helpful in allowing me to concentrate on learning more about it, though, and finding ways to manage the illness. Knowing what it is also helps the doctors to know how to better help me with medications. Dr. Nicholas gave me a new prescription today that I will be taking for the next three months, to see if it helps alleviate the symptoms.

What is dystonia? Here is a brief description: "Dystonia is a neurological movement disorder characterized by involuntary muscle contractions, which force certain parts of the body into abnormal, sometimes painful, movements or postures. Dystonia can affect any part of the body including the arms and legs, trunk, neck, eyelids, face, or vocal cords." The full description can be found at http://www.dystonia-foundation.org/defined/. The doctor today told me that the cause is a "chemical imbalance in the brain." Apparently the type of dystonia I have (generalized - adult onset) is "very rare" and mine is an atypical case even of that. Of all the body parts listed above, only my vocal cords are not involved at this point and the spasms are continual throughout the day.

Doctors do not have a cure for dystonia and it is considered a life long disease. Unless God chooses to heal my body I will most likely have it the rest of my life. Of course we will pray for healing, but mostly that God will use this illness as a way for me to shine His light in this "jar of clay". Medications may help alleviate some of the symptoms, as there plenty of medicinal options to choose from. I hope to do some nutritional research too, now that I know what direction to search in.

Thank you all so much for your prayers this past year. God is indeed merciful and faithful in His answering of them. I would appreciate continued prayers as I serve the Lord through this illness and learn ways to better deal with my physical limitations.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Sergei has created a "birds and blooms" utopia on the deck next to our sunroom. In the last few days we have had the absolutely delightful opportunity to watch a family of woodpeckers go through their daily routine. God's creation is so totally cool! Along with these guys, we see finches, wrens (one of my favorites!), hummingbirds, cardinals, sparrows, Tufted Titmice, doves, cowbirds and an occasional Goldfinch. Of course we cannot help but be amused at the antics of the squirrels and chipmunks, too. Chipmunks have a way of making me giggle every single time I see them. Those little tails held so high are just too much. Yesterday I also saw three bunnies in our yard, chasing each other around - it was almost more than I could handle at one time!

As amazing as seeing these creatures is, I am equally amazed at the talent God has bestowed upon Sergei in the area of photography. I pray that he will someday have the opportunity to use this talent to His glory.

Oh my... there are two baby woodpeckers out there now. I need to go...;-)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

A Very Special Mother's Day

Today, as most people did, we celebrated Mother's Day. We also celebrated three birthdays. Naomi was 15 last Wednesday, Nikki (our cousin who lives with us) was 19 yesterday and Anna will be 14 this next week. It was so very special to share this celebration with them.

Here are the words to the Mother's Day card the kids gave me:

You've always known me better
than I thought anyone could.
You've always given me
exactly what I needed,
whether it was love, advice, help or time.
Thanks for taking
such good care of me.
I love you.
Happy Mother's Day.

This card was signed by all of the kids and chosen by the child who joined our family the most recently. She even chose my favorite color when she picked this card. This is a child who did not have a real mother who loved her until the age of 14. I have the privilege of being that mother.

From the ones I birthed to the one we most recently adopted, I am so humbled and thankful for these blessings. I am not at all worthy for the minsitry God has chosen me for, but I am so thankful He has equipped me for the task. I fail daily, yet He is my strength.

Sheshe

Thursday, May 11, 2006

What is a proverb?


I am doing a series of post on the Proverbs for our youth group blog. I thought I would post them here as well as they are taking up most of my bloggin time.

Proverbs 1:1 The Proverbsof Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

What exactly is a proverb? ABiblical proverb is a short statement designed to teach us wisdom. Wisdom in the Bible has more to it then knowing a bunch of abstract facts. Biblical wisdom entails the skill of being able to choose the right course of action. Certainly knowledge of facts and principles are part of Biblical wisdom, but they are not all of it. Biblical wisdom also involves skill in doing what is right.

But, how do these short little statements teach us wisdom? Some dont even seem to make sense, and some seem to contradict each other. Well each short statement is designed to teach one simple truth about how the world works. We are then called on to apply our other knowledge of the Scriptures to unpack them and see them for what they are. Having done this we are ready to apply the truth in our lives.

However, before we go too far we need to understand a few things about proverbs.

1) Proverbs dont always speak to the way things ought to be, theyspeak to the way things are. Lets look at an example:

Pro 25:24 It is better to live on a corner of the housetop than in a house in company with a quarrelsome wife.

Does this mean that a man ought to retreat to his roof when his wife wants to quarrel? Does it mean that wives should quarrel? Certainly not! It does however teach a great deal about nature of the marriage relationship for those who are willing to ponder it.

2) Proverbs are not allegories. Several of our kids have had opportunities to write about proverbs as part of their school. Invariably they will try to over spiritualize the meaning of the proverb. Every thing will represent something else and all sort of hidden meaning will be found. However, this is not what the proverbs are about. There meaning should be taken as their plain meaning. There may be spiritual applications and they may illustrate other spiritual truths but, when interpreting them, the plain meaning should be the preferred meaning.
3) Proverbs need to be meditated on. Prov 1:6 calls them riddles or dark sayings depending on you translation. They need to be treated like a nut, a hard shell that first must be cracked and the good parts picked out of the pieces of the shell. Hard work, but very satisfying.

As we go on, we will look at many of the Proverbs in detail, and I am going to post some and get some of you to help crack the nut and pick out the pieces. However, next I want to talk about the author of the book and what we can learn from his life. Then we will take a tour through the earlier chapters which are not true proverbs but a series of short exhortations on various projects.

Feel free to comment and ask questions or even correct something you see wrong.

Weeds

How long has it been since you have considered weeds? I mean really thought about them. They are a nuisance, aren't they? Really?

The last few evenings I have been pulling weeds in a flower bed and it has been a delightful time of reflection. I am so thankful that God has allowed me the physical ability to do this, as I hear from other friends who are struggling more than I am. The microscosm of a flower bed is so fascinating - from the rich brown soil to the squirmy and slimy earthworms. Watching a tender shoot emerge from day to day is a exciting process, especially with the rains we have been blessed with lately.

Flower beds are such peaceful places. Even the bunnies venture into the yard when I am sitting there quietly pulling the weeds. The birds sing and eat their seeds, oblivious to my intrusion. I am still waiting patiently for a chipmunk to come and visit me during this time, too.

The best part is the camaraderie I find in the flower beds, though. Kids have a way of coming and joining me, sharing my peace and quiet or talking about things of little importance. Those times are precious, as there are no pressures on and we can simply enjoy each other and God's green earth.

Someday those gladiolis and caladiums will be going full strength and we will not need to weed the dirt around them as much. That may be a sad time, yet a glorious one as we watch the beauty of the flowers.

Are there weeds in your life? Look carefully and see what the blessings are as you work on slowly and patiently pulling those weeds, one by one. Avoid simply spray weed killer on them and being done with it. You may miss some wonderful times of drawing closer to your Lord.

The Dawning of a New Edwards Era

Here we go, folks!! We have our first official licensed driver now, as Jennifer PASSED her road test today!! Yea!!!!! Others are hot on her heels (Zhenya has a permit, Sergei, Nikki and maybe Kathryn will take the written test next week), so we are very thankful that God was gracious and allowed Jennifer to pass the test. I think I was about as nervous as she was.

Now I just get to start worrying when she goes out alone...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Blessings and Lessons

Today we sold the first home that we ever bought (in 1988). It has been quite an emotional rollercoaster over the years, but God has had many lessons for us along the way. Here are my thoughts, as written on Closing Day:

As I sit here waiting patiently (I can do that now, since we finally have all of the paperwork in) for the closing on our townhouse, I am able to reflect on the blessings and lessons God has brought us through owning it these last 18 years. We are very thankful to finally be able to sell it, but we are also thankful for having owned it. Here are some of my thoughts as I reflect on this transaction.

Blessings:

This was the first home we ever bought. It fit our needs wonderfully for a few years and we brought three of our babies home when we lived there. One of our neighbors became a life long friend and she was a huge blessing to us while we lived there. We also had the opportunity to help her on numerous occasions. Bob and I learned the basics of home ownership through the purchase of this home and we learned how to make repairs that would have otherwise been done by a landlord.
Although having a train come within fifty feet of your back fence would be an irritant to a lot of folks, we have fond memories of it. When Trey was a baby, I could lay him down in his crib when the train came by and the gentle rocking would put him right to sleep. If he was out in the back yard when it came by, he would raise his hands up and put them on his cheeks, rather than his ears. He never seemed to understand that we were putting our hands on our ears to shut the sound out. Tessa insists that the house was much bigger when we lived there. Of course, that has everything to do with her being much smaller, though. She cannot understand how we got a small wading pool, her Little Tikes car and a swing on the back patio now, when she goes back to look at it again. She remembers wanting to be able to reach a certain spot on the fence and longing to be able to look over it when the train came by. Now, at 5ft 8in she simply stands there and gazes at the train while standing on the ground.
We were blessed to have good tenants the last few years we owned the townhome. A young international couple lived there for six years and we were able to provide them a good home for less than market value rent. In the end, we were able to sell the townhome at a good price to a young couple who were buying their first home. It was fun to see how excited they were about buying it, having slept very little the night before due to home buying jitters.
This was the first year that God allowed us to have the cash to spend on updating the home so that we could put it on the market. It was a real blessing to be able to do that, and we are so thankful to have gotten a good enough price out of it to pay ourselves back for the expenses and have a little left over. Now we have enough to pay the deductible for having our hail damaged roof replaced in our current home! Although we wanted so badly to sell the townhome in the past, it was apparent that this was the perfect time for us to put it on the market.

Lessons:

Along with the blessings, God taught us many lessons during the time that we owned the townhouse. First of all, we learned to prayerfully consider major purchases such as this (we did not include Him in the purchase). I admit that I ran headlong into this transaction, guided only by my emotions and desires. I suspect that I basically dragged Bob along behind me, too, since I was not a godly and submissive wife at that point in my life. We did not research the purchase much at all. Instead, I was blinded by a home larger than any we had ever had, with everything in it brand new.
We have learned that we spent way too much on the purchase of this home. Initially we planned on living there 4-5 years and then selling it and buying a “real home”, but when we did begin trying to put that plan into action we found that no one at all was interested in buying it for the price we had to ask. A number of times we put it on the market, both with a realtor and “For Sale By Owner”, yet we probably only had a handful of people actually look at it and no one seriously interested. This was due to the fact that we paid too much and were forced to put a price on it that no one else was willing to pay.
Being the first owners of a home is exciting, but we also discovered the drawbacks of working the “kinks” out of a new home (ie, dryer was not vented to the outside, causing moisture to build up between the ceiling and upstairs floor). Also, you never know how a neighborhood is going to age when you buy a new home. In our case, since each townhome was individually maintained, the upkeep was quite varied and spotty. It was also not determined who would maintained the grass in the entryway after all of the units were sold, so it was not well taken care of. I think it is safe for me to say that we have learned to always buy an older home in an established neighborhood.
Although it was never really in question, we learned that we do not want to be landlords, especially while living a long distance away. Renters inevitably do not take as good of care of a home as owners do, thus causing repairs to be necessary. We also learned to not use one particular property management company in our city.

I am certain that I will think of other blessings and lessons that God has taught us in the particular situation, and I will add those as they come to mind. I pray that we will indeed be thankful and learn the lessons that He has prepared for us along the way.

New Blog

The GCC youth group blog is now up. This where I will probably be doing most of my posting in the neat future as we try to get it going. Drop by and say hey.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Thoughts from Gunner, a friend of ours who is TMS student about the pressure of finals week:

I want to work hard because of the Bema Seat grade that's coming. I want to labor to the point of fatigue because my job is to get the gospel to people who are approaching the Great White Throne deadline. I want to concentrate on all the work and ministry I do (not just the pressing work) because it's my responsibility to help prepare the church for when she'll meet Christ her bridegroom. I want eternity, not just graduation, to be my commencement. I want a heavenly reward, not just earthly scholarships. I want to please my Master, not just my professors. In short, I want to have the perspective represented on London Theological Seminary's website even in the midst of end-of-the-semester pressure. I want eternal reasons to fuel what I do and how I do it.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Lamb That Was Slain

Remembering the offense of the cross:



Image from Bibleplaces.com

The New Cross

This was posted by Jerry Wragg in a comment on the Pyromaniacs. Well worth the price of admission.

"From this new cross has sprung a new philosophy of the Christian life; and from that new philosophy has come a new evangelical technique-a new type of meeting and new type of preaching. This new evangelism employs the same language as of the old, but its content is not the same and the emphasis not as before.
"The new cross encourages a new and entirely different evangelistic approach. The evangelist does not demand abnegation of the old life before a new life can be received. He preaches not contrasts but similarities. He seeks to key into the public view the same thing the world does, only a higher level. Whatever the sin-mad world happens to be clamoring after at the moment is cleverly shown to be the very thing the gospel offers, only the religious product is better.
"The new cross does not slay the sinner; it re-directs him. It gears him to a cleaner and jollier way of living, and saves his self-respect...The Christian message is slanted in the direction of the current vogue in order to make it acceptable to the public.
"The philosophy back of this kind of thing may be sincere, but its sincerity does not save it from being false. It is false because it is blind. It misses completely the whole meaning of the cross.
The old cross is a symbol of DEATH. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took the cross and started down the road has already said goodbye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was not going out to have his life re-directed; he was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise; modified nothing; spared nothing. It slew all of the man completely, and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with the victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more.
"The race of Adam is under the death sentence. There is no commutation and no escape. God cannot approve any fruits of sin, however innocent they may appear, or beautiful to the eyes of men. God salvages the individual by liquidating him, and then raising him again to newness of life.
"That evangelism which draws friendly parallels between the ways of God and the ways of men is false to the Bible and cruel to the souls of its hearers. The faith of Christ does not parallel the world; it intersects it. In coming to Christ we do not bring our old life to a higher plane; we leave it at the cross....
"We, who preach the gospel, must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, or the world of sports, or modern entertainment. We are not diplomats, but prophets; and our message is not a compromise, but an ultimatum."

The Biblical Evangelist, November 1, 1991, p. 11

The New Cross

This was posted by Jerry Wragg in a comment on the Pyromaniacs. Well worth the price of admission.

"From this new cross has sprung a new philosophy of the Christian life; and from that new philosophy has come a new evangelical technique-a new type of meeting and new type of preaching. This new evangelism employs the same language as of the old, but its content is not the same and the emphasis not as before.
"The new cross encourages a new and entirely different evangelistic approach. The evangelist does not demand abnegation of the old life before a new life can be received. He preaches not contrasts but similarities. He seeks to key into the public view the same thing the world does, only a higher level. Whatever the sin-mad world happens to be clamoring after at the moment is cleverly shown to be the very thing the gospel offers, only the religious product is better.
"The new cross does not slay the sinner; it re-directs him. It gears him to a cleaner and jollier way of living, and saves his self-respect...The Christian message is slanted in the direction of the current vogue in order to make it acceptable to the public.
"The philosophy back of this kind of thing may be sincere, but its sincerity does not save it from being false. It is false because it is blind. It misses completely the whole meaning of the cross.
The old cross is a symbol of DEATH. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took the cross and started down the road has already said goodbye to his friends. He was not coming back. He was not going out to have his life re-directed; he was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise; modified nothing; spared nothing. It slew all of the man completely, and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with the victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more.
"The race of Adam is under the death sentence. There is no commutation and no escape. God cannot approve any fruits of sin, however innocent they may appear, or beautiful to the eyes of men. God salvages the individual by liquidating him, and then raising him again to newness of life.
"That evangelism which draws friendly parallels between the ways of God and the ways of men is false to the Bible and cruel to the souls of its hearers. The faith of Christ does not parallel the world; it intersects it. In coming to Christ we do not bring our old life to a higher plane; we leave it at the cross....
"We, who preach the gospel, must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, or the world of sports, or modern entertainment. We are not diplomats, but prophets; and our message is not a compromise, but an ultimatum."

The Biblical Evangelist, November 1, 1991, p. 11

Friday, April 14, 2006

A World Apart

One of our daughters talks on the phone regularly with her friend in China. This friend works at the orphanage that our daughter came to the US from and they became friends while Kathryn was there.

Last night after she hung up from the conversation, she was telling me a bit about what they said. Her friend has recently been married and is wanting to have a baby sometime soon. Remember, though, that this is the country where births are restricted. She is hoping to have twins.

At one point she told Kathryn something about her sister and Kathryn wondered aloud how she could have a sister! Her friend told her that apparently there was some rule at the time stating that you could have two children if they were five years apart. However, she and her sister were only three years apart, so their mother was punished. Her wages were reduced dramatically at her job.

What a different world we live in. Bob and I have 12 kids in our home. Indeed, we are rich. Today, in our world, across the globe, parents are still limited by their government on the number of children they can have and they are punished when they have more than their allotted number. Babies are abandoned and left to die - usually girls. Boys with physical defects are rejected. When they are only allowed one child, it must be perfect.

Imagine a world where no one has brothers or sisters. And then look around and be thankful for your own.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Been out for awhile

It's been a busy few weeks at work, along with "normal" life around our house. I hope to get back to posting soon.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Citizenship Day

Today we went to Memphis so that Kathryn could say the Oath of Citzenship and receive her certificate of citizenship. Here is what she said:

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God. In acknowledgement whereof I have hereunto affixed my signature.


Having read it, I wonder how many American born citzen could truthfully take the oath today.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Attachment Disorders the "Cure"

Having discussed the causes of attachment disorders I want to layout the solution. The solution is simple yet hard. The solution is Biblical parenting. My first thought was that there are many who have done a much better job of describing what Biblical parenting is than me. So I went looking. What I found was this, a succinct description of Biblical parenting.

What I intend to do is to reference you to this and then use it as an outline for a series of posts on Attachment Disorders. I will expound on each point and try to relate them to the particular issues of children who would be considered to have attachment disorders. So lets start with point 1:

Praise a Lot

A child that is praised consistently as well as corrected consistently can tell the difference in what the parent wants and does not want. We are to give honor to whom honor is due and rejoice when our children walk in truth. Romans 13:7, III John 4.

This issue is really important to the kids we are considering. Because of their neglectful or abusive background most of their experience with parents and authority figures has been negative. The result is that their response toward correction is often improper. Correction appears to them as the start of an abuse cycle. Thus they will try to deflect, deny, or avoid correction rather than respond in a positive manner. We need to restore this balance and teach them to respond properly. Add a balancing amount of praise will help put correction in the right perspective for them.

It is interesting to note that, in the book of Revelation, Jesus commends the churches before he corrects them for their problems. Likewise, the Apostle Paul in many of his letters will point out the good points of the church he is writing to before delving into correcting their errors. We could learn well from these examples. It is a good habit to find positive things to say to a child before seeking to correct them.

Getting a child to the point where they accept praise and correction properly is a process that takes time. Some of our children came to us not knowing how to respond to praise. This may be because they have received so little praise in their life that they do not recognize what it is, or it may be that because what praise they did receive was a means of manipulation In either case they tend to not respond properly at first. One example of this is our son who becomes giddy when he receives praise. It seems that the slightest amount of praise convinces him that he is the supreme ruler of the universe and that all power is in his hand. At the same time he is almost impervious to rebuke because he came to us so accustomed to deprivation and pain that he does not recognize either as something to be avoided but merely endured. With him it has been a very slow process.

Others will respond more readily. The key is to balance the praise and correction. How we balance depends on the condition of the child. 1 Tim 5:14 suggests says that we should admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. Those who are seeking to do what is right but are struggling should be encouraged. Those who have no desire to do what is right show be corrected, the strength of correction being determined by the state of their heart.

This can become hard at time because some kids, particularly when they first come, have very few positive traits to praise. We want to encourage them so that they will see that positive behavior produces positive results. This is hard when little of what they do is truly right. Sometimewe must go out of our way to look for things to praise. Thankfully, as time goes on this tends to get better.

I must admit that this is one area in which I personally struggle. I am a very analytical person. I am good at my job because I find the potential problems before theyoccur and try to fix them. This works well with computer software, not so well with children. Children need the balance between praise and correction. Thankfully, my wife is a natural encourager.

Next up: Play a Lot!