Today's Gift

Show me your ways, O LORD;
Teach me Your paths,
Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.
Psalm 25:4-5

Today God gave me a gift. After having struggled with neurological problems continually for over a year now, I finally have a name for the illness. A Movement Disorder Specialist at UAB told me this morning, after careful consideration and a consultation with his partner, that I have Generalized Dystonia. I am so thankful that God allowed this doctor to have the wisdom and knowledge to make a diagnosis. Not knowing what the illness is has been a huge challenge for me over the last year, since one of my greatest temptations is a desire to be in control of my own life. I confess that I have ranted and raved in many sinful ways, demanding that God share this information with me. However, in His infinite wisdom He chose to make me wait and learn many lessons along the way.

Having this gift (the name of the disease) does not change my physical condition one bit. It will be helpful in allowing me to concentrate on learning more about it, though, and finding ways to manage the illness. Knowing what it is also helps the doctors to know how to better help me with medications. Dr. Nicholas gave me a new prescription today that I will be taking for the next three months, to see if it helps alleviate the symptoms.

What is dystonia? Here is a brief description: "Dystonia is a neurological movement disorder characterized by involuntary muscle contractions, which force certain parts of the body into abnormal, sometimes painful, movements or postures. Dystonia can affect any part of the body including the arms and legs, trunk, neck, eyelids, face, or vocal cords." The full description can be found at http://www.dystonia-foundation.org/defined/. The doctor today told me that the cause is a "chemical imbalance in the brain." Apparently the type of dystonia I have (generalized - adult onset) is "very rare" and mine is an atypical case even of that. Of all the body parts listed above, only my vocal cords are not involved at this point and the spasms are continual throughout the day.

Doctors do not have a cure for dystonia and it is considered a life long disease. Unless God chooses to heal my body I will most likely have it the rest of my life. Of course we will pray for healing, but mostly that God will use this illness as a way for me to shine His light in this "jar of clay". Medications may help alleviate some of the symptoms, as there plenty of medicinal options to choose from. I hope to do some nutritional research too, now that I know what direction to search in.

Thank you all so much for your prayers this past year. God is indeed merciful and faithful in His answering of them. I would appreciate continued prayers as I serve the Lord through this illness and learn ways to better deal with my physical limitations.