As those of you who follow our blog or us know sheshe has a neurological problem that has the doctors stumped. The doctors now want to send her to the Mayo Clinic. In the providence of God, we just finished the book of Job in our family Bible reading. So timely for what is going on in our lives.
You see, we want answers. We ask God for healing, or at least to know what is going on, and yet He does not answer. Such was Job's story. He had a question for God, "Why have you done this to me?" However, in the end, God never answers Job. Instead God asks Job questions that reveal who God is and who Job is not. And Job, seeing God more clearly, worships God.
Here then is our problem, we want to know what God is doing or why God is doing something. We think that we can understand God and His ways. And though He sometimes reveals them to us they are beyond our comprehension, because He is so much more than we.
In the end we must recognize that we cannot understand all that God understands. We must also understand that He has a right to do what He will and we do not. And, because of this, we must simply trust Him. We must go beyond trusting Him to provide us with answers and provide us with what we want, and simply trust Him.
It seems to me that this is the faith of the little child that Jesus speaks of. A little child trusts a parent implicitly. Try to convince a three or four year old that mommy is wrong some time. They simply believe that whatever mommy does is right. They trust not in what mommy does, but they trust mommy.
Still it is hard, because we think more of ourselves than we ought. We believe that God owes us an explanation. We need to do like Job and repent in dust and ashes.
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We would greatly appreciate any and all prayers for wisdom in this regard. I was doing research today and found out that Mayo bills the patient for the difference after the insurance company pays the "usual and customary fees". Any of you who have had medical tests done know that this could add up to mucho dollars!! Ka ching, Ka ching, Ka ching!
We do have some other options, and I am checking into those, regarding how they handle the insurance payments (Vanderbilt, doctor in PA).
It is hard to know where to draw the line with the medical establishment. I suppose we will continue to search for answers, all the while seeking to understand that God does not indeed OWE us any. He could heal my body at any moment, in the blink of an eye. Of that I am certain.
My weakness is in obsessing with the medical side of things, so please pray that I will find a balance in that area of my life.
Sheshe
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